Betrayal

(Had smoked 4 packs of cigarettes in just 3 days... worked on a saturday and sunday... got only a one day vacation - labor day - for the three day weekend...)

I had a yahoo messenger status last week saying "Now i know that: TRUST is only a condom, JOY is only a bathroom tissue, HOPE is only a menthol cigarette, HAPPY is only a pack of salted peanuts".

Let's start with the JOY and HAPPY part...

Well.. having JOY and being HAPPY is really subjective...

You would have those for reasons that are really selfish to you...

Selfish? Even when you get happy by helping others or doing charity?

YES.

Remember, you have a certain sense of accomplishment (or whatever you would have) when you help someone. That reason alone is selfish (or self satisying), even though your act is not.

Speaking of selfishness... you'll also do things that would make you HAPPY even though you're already HURTING someone. Indeed, happiness can't be shared with others. The sole reason is that happiness is naturally selfish... you can't tell everybody to be HAPPY for you. Each and every person has an emotion. You can't CONTROL it (unless you corece them to).

HOPE...

Well... everybody has hope... may it be on love, career, etc.

I've already lost hope in getting married... or get someone to TRULY love me... well.. it's just a mindset.. I CAN LIVE MY LIFE ALONE...

Nowadays, I always play this song on my computer... it's entitled "Goodbye to Love"... sang by the Carpenters...

And it goes like this...

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I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it.

So I've made my mind up I must live my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love.

There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for.

All the years of useless search have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can.

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song.

And it's goodbye to love
I'll say goodbye to love.

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I just HOPE that my current mindset would last... I don't want to be with a girl that loves hurting me...

Last but not the least...

TRUST... my favorite condom... someone told me that 0.2 and 0.3 is even better... but I'll try those next time... ^_^

Anyway...

TRUST can be found anywhere... between family members, peers, love ones... anywhere...

You TRUST those who are close to you even more... you TRUST them NOT to severe your relationship (albeit friendship, love, etc)

But there would come a time that a person's HAPPINESS would totally damage or destroy the TRUST that you have for them...

Indeed... I already have destroyed some ties because of this...

I'm a LOYAL person... and I want LOYALTY from my peers...

But... when someone breaks my TRUST... I totally destroy the link between me and that person (or group)...

I don't have grudges... I just don't forgive...

You would be just foolish befriending someone who has already severed your trust to him/her...

But then again... if you love that person... you would do foolish and irrational things....

And those foolish and irrational things would only be justifiable in a CLOUDED mind...

For several days already, my yahoo messenger status says "The Final Jeopardy category is: 80s movies. The answer: This 1983 film was directed by David Hugh Jones and starred Jeremy Irons, Ben Kingsley and Patricia Hodge".

To those trivia freaks like me... they would get the correct response to that Jeopardy answer.

But to those who aren't, there's always google...

Anyway.. the correct response is...

"What is BETRAYAL?"